The Blood Test Results Are In

The blood test results are in. And I am not really happy about it. It feels like a setback. It may be a small setback, but it feels like a normal one.

Somehow, you are still disappointed about the results. Inside you always hope and pray that they will be good and positive. But maybe it is not my time yet.

How It Began

Several weeks ago had an appointment with a nurse from the Heart failure group. The result of our meeting was, that one medication would be doubled in dosage. Then, after a few weeks, I had to go for a blood checkup so they could see if the important values are still within a certain range. The change in dosage could have an effect on the potassium in my blood.

Together with that, they also wanted to check the kidney function and other things.

Just a few days before I wanted to make an appointment for the blood checkup, the assistant of my GP called me and asked if I could have a blood checkup for my cholesterol, sugar, and some other things. According to her, this is a regular thing for people who have a heart condition. The last time I had this kind of a check, it was years ago. So it was really time for it.

I informed her that she was in luck because I was already planning to make an appointment because of the request of the hospital. She informed me that it could be done together, but I only had to get a form from them with the request of what results they wanted to have. No problem.

So this was done one week ago.

The nurse from the Heart Failure group would call me last Thursday. The assistant of my GP would call me last Friday.

The First Call

Last Thursday the nurse from the Heart Failure group called. The results are in. She said she had some good and maybe less good news. The values for the potassium were good. So I could continue with the suggested dosage. But in the other results, they saw that the kidney function had gone backward.

This was not a nice thing to hear. In the last year or so, things were stable. Now when I think about it, I also have my doubts if it is because of the change of medication dosage, or if this is the result (still) from all the medication I had during my two months in the hospital. This also had a big effect on my health right now.

Anyway, she made the remark that they want to do one more blood check in 5-6 weeks’ time. She was hoping that in that time, the kidney function would restore itself slowly. Just to make sure, I would get an appointment with a Heart Failure specialist. This is because my appointment with my Cardio specialist would take too long to wait for.

I already saw the appointment in the app from the hospital. It will be at the end of July. One week before that appointment, I need to make an appointment for a blood check. This heart failure specialist, then also could go over all my medication and maybe suggest other changes.

We wait and see. And in the meantime, I pray that the kidney function slowly will restore itself to a reasonable value.

The Second Call

The next day I got the call from the GP assistant. She told me that she had to get the results and that there were a few things.

My cholesterol had gone up. She was talking about good and bad cholesterol, but she did not go into the details. She asked me if they ever had given me the numbers or range of where my cholesterol should be in. Maybe they had told me the first time I had a meeting for that, but that was many many years ago. I already forgot about that. She suggested maybe an appointment in person, to talk about eating habits, diet, and exercise. No problem for me. Maybe it is good to have a refreshing talk about it again.

She also mentioned maybe giving medication for the cholesterol. I told her that I already have medication for that. She said that maybe then we need to raise the dosage for that. But she will discuss this first with my GP.

Then she mentioned that my sugar had gone up and was over the upper level. Normally this should be between 4.0 and 6.0. Mine was 6.2. She made the remark that the color for this should be green, but mine was slightly light red. Not red yet. But still, it was high. Her advice was to check it again after three to six months.

A Little Shocked

When I heard all these results, I was a little shocked/upset/disappointed. I know, that there is right now, nothing I can do about it.

Why my cholesterol had gone up, I am not sure. At home, we did not really change what we eat. I will just wait for the personal meeting and just hear what she has to say.

For my sugar. I also did not really change much for that. The only thing I can think of is what I am drinking. With this warm weather, I am drinking a little bit more. Not too much because I still have a liquid intake limitation. And I am sticking to that. But what I drink is mainly soft drinks. And I make my own drinks with lemonade syrup. And actually, that is also full of sugar. The reason why I make the drinks with that syrup is that just drinking plain water is also boring. It is nice if it has some taste to it.

Right now I am trying to see if I can change what I drink. I have some ideas, but I will see how this goes. The next checkup for that is still after around six months, so there is time enough.

Mentally

All these things will still do a lot to you. Mentally, every time it is a blow. You start to doubt what you are doing. Maybe you also will start to blame yourself. But sometimes, no matter what you do or don’t do, you don’t have it in control. Things like that will happen. If you want it or not. You need to find peace with it. You cannot control everything. That is life. Just look at me what had all happened in the last 6 months. If I would blame everything on myself, that it is all my fault, I would go crazy and depressed.

The Sunday before I would get the results, we had a Thanksgiving Dinner and an early birthday celebration. Thanksgiving to God, for all that had happened in the past 6 months. Thanksgiving that I am still here, and fighting. Thanksgiving to God for giving me the strength to go through this all.

Spiritually

At this dinner, one of our visitors asked me how I am. I just told it, that I am so-so. And told him about what was going on. But then he asked me, but how are you spiritually?

Something no one ever asked me. This is not something you can answer quickly. I told him that I am okay. I have peace with everything that is going on. Things go the way they go. There is not much that I can do about it. I accept it and pray for it. He said that they are still keeping me in their prayers. And that they pray for a full recovery.

That is nice. But my heart failure is something you cannot fully recover from. They can improve it with medication and get things stable. But you will never fully recover from it. Then he made the remark. We will still pray for it and pray for a miracle. Miracles still can happen. You never know when.

That made me smile. He is right.

Maybe it was something to just remind me.

A Quote

On Facebook, I saw that someone had shared/posted a quote. When I had read it, my thought was, that this is how people look at me, see me. Sometimes you have that feeling, that when you read something, it speaks to you. This quote spoke to me. I had to share it. This was the quote;

One comment that I got was this;

“Written for you Pierre
Since we got to know each other at MSO, things haven’t gotten any easier for you and your family. So many setbacks regarding your health….. And yet having the strength to deal with it the way you do, a deep bow for that.“

I have heard this several times. Also when I was in the hospital and after I was home again. I don’t know what it is, but for me, it is part of my life. Maybe it sounds strange, but I don’t look at it that way. Only now when I am reflecting on it, I can see what they mean. If it would be someone I know, that is going through the same situation as me, I also would look at him like this. And have respect for him.

Closing

So, what will be next? I have no idea. The only thing I can think of is just keep on going. Take the next obstacle when it is there.

We can try to look ahead, but we only can guess. We don’t know it for sure. Only God knows the plans He has for us. We cannot look into the future. We only can do our best and pray to God for guidance, strength, and peace of mind.

As always, please take care and be safe. God Bless